Received by Mercedes Kirkel
On May 13, 2014
Question: My past relationships with men have not been where I would like them to be. I want to be in a space where I attract the kind of man to me that I really want to have a relationship with. What might I do to call in that space, find that partner, and truly enjoy the fullness of a healthy relationship together?
Mary Magdalene: What are the areas that have been your challenges and which you feel you are moving beyond into a new form of relating?
Questioner: I would like to meet someone who has moved beyond financial struggles or pretty much has that settled, so it’s not a major issue. I also want a man who has handled his “baggage” with his mother and other women. And I want somebody who’s spiritually in alignment with me, who is a conscious male, who doesn’t look at my beliefs and what I do as strange or a hobby, or as something not significant and important in my life.
Mary Magdalene: These are different arenas and different issues that you have brought up—all very valid ones. The one relative to finance and money may be related to receiving and your ability to open to receiving. Is receiving an area that you have challenges with?
Questioner: In the past, yes. I come from a family of women who give more than they ever allow anything in. I’m not quite like them, but there’s still that imprint or genetic belief that I show my worth by giving. A part of me believes that giving to men shows why I’m important to them and why they would want to be with me.
Mary Magdalene: It would most likely be very valuable for you to take on a practice of receiving from men. If you have men in your life that you interact with in some way or other, through work or friendship or whatever, you can allow yourself to start to practice consciously receiving from them.
Know that what the Feminine gives to men is different than what the Masculine gives to you. You give them the Feminine essence. This is your life-force, your joy, your love, your nurturing—not nurturing in the sense of doing, like making food or cleaning the house or something like that. It’s energetic nurturing. The Feminine is basically about energy. You’re giving the energy of life and love to your partner. You’re enriching them through your energy. It also takes the form of intuition, insight, and emotion. It takes the form of pleasure. All of those are the domain of the Feminine. This is what you give to men through your Feminine.
What men give to women through their Masculine is much more about taking care of women, in very practical, pragmatic ways. They may support you in physical ways, financial ways, or helping figure things out in mental ways, through solving problems and those kinds of things. This is the fundamental play of the Masculine and the Feminine.
Of course, when you’re alone you’re drawing on your own Masculine and Feminine to be whole. Every individual needs to have their own wholeness, preferably before coming into a relationship. Then you’re whole in and of yourself. But the play between the Masculine and Feminine still exists. This has been lost to a certain extent in the Earth’s cultures of today, especially western culture, because so many things have changed, where women are very much living in their Masculine. They are schooled in their Masculine, they work in their Masculine, they care for themselves and oftentimes for others and they’re very much in their Masculine—oftentimes to the point of being cut off from their own Feminine and not knowing their own Feminine.
Men tend to also be in the Masculine and the Masculine orientation is what’s generally supported in your world today. When men see women coming from their Masculine, they see no need to take care of them, any more than they would take care of another man. The relationship ends up being very much about two Masculine beings relating to each other, which has not worked very well for many people.
If you’re calling in a relationship where you want a man who’s strong financially, who’s competent and self-sufficient in that way, then you need to be more in the Feminine role and have the man be more in the Masculine role. You may need to strengthen your Feminine, in relation to men in general, as part of calling in the man you desire to be in relationship with—strengthening your Feminine of receiving and responding energetically. So that is the first thing I would recommend.
How does that sound to you?
Questioner: Good. It makes sense.
Mary Magdalene: Wonderful. Relative to the second thing your were pointing to—that men had issues with women and their mothers—the main thing you can do is to make sure you’re clear relative to your issues with men. The degree to which you are clear in that arena determines the degree to which you will be calling in a partner who’s equally clear in their issues and relationships with women. Does that make sense?
Mary Magdalene: Are you aware of what your work is in that area?
Questioner: Yes. I’ve had other men come in and they have the same issues. So I know that I still have some things to work out to call in something different.
Mary Magdalene: Yes. Sometimes they’re mirroring your issues and sometimes they’re complementing your issues, which means they’re bringing the other side. One way or the other, they’re potentially pointing to what you’re doing to create the dynamic. So you must work on your issues and come to a place of healing from wounds that you have with men, whether it be your father or past relationships that you’ve had. You must come to the point of understanding and compassion for them and the wounding from which they’re coming. But you can’t do that until you’ve done the first. For your compassion and understanding of the other to be authentic and not just suppression, you always have to heal yourself first.
This will eventually lead you to the place of treasuring men, loving them, seeing them as so valuable, so wonderful and beautiful, and such a gift to you. This is the place you want to be in. Then you will draw men who are that for you, absolutely.
The third arena is relative to your partner’s spiritual development or consciousness. The primary thing for that is that you start to have the lens of seeing everyone as spiritual, as doing their spiritual work, rather than being different from you. Their circumstance might be different, they may have very different areas that they’re working on, which is their work to do at this time. But you start to see the similarities and you break down your lens of seeing the differences between you and the way you’re doing your spiritual work. That will very strongly affect the dynamic of any separation between your approach to spirituality and the approach of your partner.
If you do this, then even if your partner has a different path than yours, they will not see a fundamental difference. They’ll see that you’re on your path and that it is all important, valuable work.
Is that helpful?
Questioner: Yes, that makes sense.
Mary Magdalene: I am glad.
This has been a joy and a delight to speak with you, to interact, and to help you as best I’m able. My heart overflows with joy and love for you. Many blessings, my dear.
I AM Mary Magdalene
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©2014 Mercedes Kirkel, http://www.mercedeskirkel.com, All Rights Reserved. Permission is given to share this message as long as the message is posted in its entirety, nothing has been changed or altered in any way, and Mercedes Kirkel’s credit, copyright, and websites are included: http://www.mercedeskirkel.com and http://www.marymagdalenebeckons.com.
Mercedes Kirkel is a #1 best-selling and multi-award-winning author, bringing forth messages and instruction from Mary Magdalene and other Beings of Light. Her first book, Mary Magdalene Beckons: Join the River of Love is available at www.marymagdalenebeckons.com. Mercedes’s latest book, Sublime Union: A Woman’s Sexual Odyssey Guided by Mary Magdalene, is available at www.sublime-union.com. All messages and practices are universal and are not affiliated with any religion.
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Mercedes offers workshops and private sessions in Santa Fe, New Mexico, including Heart-Source life-and-relationships coaching, guidance from Mary Magdalene and other beings of light, Akashic healing and soul-path guidance, Light-Filled Intimacy™ instruction, and spiritual instruction and support. She is available in-person or long distance (by phone and Skype), or to travel to your location. For more information, go to www.mercedeskirkel.com.