The Center of the Sun ~ Pamela Kribbe @ The Jeshua Channelings

ART Flora Aube.

 ART : Flora Aube


The Center of the Sun

Pamela channels Jeshua

Translation by Maria Baes and Frank Tehan

Dear friends, I am Jeshua. I represent the Christ energy, which is now born on Earth in and through you. I ask you to imagine my energy as a sun. Just think of the actual Sun, that radiant image of life and strength. You also can see the sun as a metaphor, as an image of yourself, of your own being and soul. Focus your consciousness for a few moments on the center of the Sun, and enter into it with your imagination – do it very calmly and quietly. Feel the immeasurable power of the energy field that is the Sun and feel yourself in the center of that huge volcano of energy. Feel the silence and tranquillity there, and the spontaneous nature of this radiance that happens by itself: the Sun radiates its light outward effortlessly.

Rest, surrounded by light, in the center of the Sun and feel how right and natural it is that you are carried by this source of power. This light is there for you, because you are, in your essence, yourself a sun. Allow yourself to relax and sink into this light. Let this light envelop you in a gentle and loving way: very flowing, warming, but never burning. Allow this light to flow through you completely and to remind you of who you are: a soul, a sun, a star in all the cells of your body. Allow every cell in your body to be imbued with this healing light of your soul-sun.

You can find the center of this sun, your central core, whenever in your daily life you return to the Now by bringing your attention completely into the present. If you are busy with the past or the future, you go out of your center and you lose connection with your light source – that which carries you. But what is the Now really? You are asked to be in the Now, in the moment, in the present, but what is that Now in reality? Once you talk about it, it is already over. The Now is not a minute, not a second; it cannot be actually named as a unit of time. The Now evades you when you want to determine what it is. There are no limiting boundaries to the time that is the Now. The Now defies ordinary ways of thinking.

In the earthly sense, you can calculate time and count it – there are 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, 7 days in a week, etc. That way of viewing time is not natural to the human spirit. The Now is free from time – what unit of time can describe it? The human mind cannot contain or understand the Now, because it is not subject to the logic of thought, although it is quite understandable to your feelings. You know what it is like to completely lose yourself in the moment; for example, in an instant of enjoyment. There may have been times when you experienced something beautiful and at the same time you realized how special that moment was. You were aware and completely open to the experience that resonated and flowed through your body, soul, and feelings. When that happens, you are one with the experience and one with the Now you are the Now!

When you are in the Now, you are also then in the center of your sun, your soul, and all change takes place from that central core within you. We talked today about fear and how you feel anxious when you are outside your core and away from your center. Fear is also linked to thinking in calculable time, the past and the future: “What will happen? What will go wrong?” Anticipating the future from fear is very human, but it can happen only if you have moved from your center, moved from the Now. Being in the Now means that all your inner strengths come together and become integrated, and you do this by being completely present in your body, soul, and feelings.

I want to say a little more about the concept of time, and how it can intimidate and frighten you. During the last few decades, there have been many predictions about certain dates that lie in the future. Time is seen then as a sort of line that runs from the present toward the future and on that basis certain events become fixed. By accepting that vision of time, you could then be able to prepare for the coming events, and you can do that from either fear or trust. But is this a true image? Is the future really a straight line on which things are fixed in place? Is the future the sum total of all those hours, days, and months that lie ahead of you? Or is this a wholly restrictive way of looking at time and the future?

You who are here and who hear this, know that there is more to life than what is just visible in the world. You see the form of things – someone’s body, the trees or animals, or even the plants and stones – but you intuit that there is something within all those things that is not visible to the eyes and to the physical senses. You feel something mysterious is there, an inner life, which creates a unique individual or thing. You know you need to look more deeply than just at the surface of things, and you know also what it is to experience joy when you penetrate into their inner world, which is also within you. That is real life; that is the reality of all things. The exterior is only a manifestation of that inner world.

What about time then? If you look at time as a line of quantifiable units or spaces – days, weeks, months, years – than you look at time from only the outside; from the perspective of that which you can measure with a clock or a ruler. But time as seen from the inside, as an experience, is something quite different. That inner perspective becomes evident when you consider the concept of the Now. The concept of the Now can not be based on the clock or on the calendar; it is based on your conscious presence, on your awareness. According to your inner sense of time, time can go very fast or very slow, independently of how the clock ticks.  “Inner time” can stand still when you experience bliss and stretch out endlessly when you are bored; inner time flows according to the way you experience things

What about the future and the past? What is their reality when seen from the inside and not from the outside? Imagine again, for a moment, that you are in the core of the sun of your soul, where in its motionless center there is no time – there is only eternity. Although there is movement in the form of rays radiating out, there is a primordial essence that is always just there. You can call it God consciousness, if you wish, but it is Eternal Life, and it is there inside you, too, deep in your center.

A sun emits rays, and imagine that you are present in those rays that effortlessly radiate from your sun. By way of those rays, you can manifest yourself in many lives and be anywhere in the universe. Every ray is a life in time and space, you might say, in which you have taken on a specific form: a body. You have experiences in that body; it has a beginning and an end; it is born and it dies; it is mortal. To live in such a body, focused in time, you become biologically aware and under the influence of the concept of time. You begin to see things in terms of the finite, but your true center is in the center of your sun and you, as this sun, emit countless rays that are possible manifestations of you in the future – potential lives and expressions of yourself. The future is not fixed; although every timeline is a very real possibility in the Now, you choose to activate one and make it real in your world.

See the past also in this way for a moment. You think there is only one timeline that runs from the past to the Now, but seen from the center point of your sun, that is not so. Behind you lies a whole range of timelines, some of which have become activated by you and your choices, and many others which lie dormant, so to speak, but which might still be activated at some time in your future. The past is not fixed and “over”: you can recreate the past by reinterpreting the experiences you had, by interacting with them from the present. This is possible because the past is not something outside of you, it is not a dot on a line.

I will give an example to clarify this matter. Let us assume you felt afflicted by your past relationship with your mother or your father; that you felt you were not recognized for who you were and experienced fear and a lack of security in that relationship. You believe your life has been determined by that past and you feel a sense of victimhood because of it. You feel you were made into who you are now due partly to your parents, as a product of your upbringing.

But suppose that you, in the course of your life, are going to delve into your consciousness through the process of inner growth. You make the connection with your soul and you go into who you are at your core, the sun within you. Through this process you now form a much broader perspective of your life. You now see your parents in the context of their past, for example, and you now see their powerlessness and their images of fear and negative convictions. You have forgiveness in your heart.

This broader perspective helps you to gradually feel less the victim of your parents. Moreover, you start to see that there is a part of you that has never been really touched by what happened to you, a part that has remained whole and unscathed. You increasingly feel your own autonomy and independence. And the more you connect during your life with the center point of the sun within you, the easier will it be for you to let go of the past, such as your relationship with your parents. The way you experienced that relationship was only one ray, one possible timeline, and by changing your awareness of who you really are, you can shift to another experience of the past, and to another timeline.

You are now able to look at the relationship with your mother and father from the perspective of the soul, of which as a child you were not aware. Since you are now more in your center core, you are able to perceive your parents in a different light, in a more gentle, forgiving way. You can explain to the child within you how certain painful experiences helped you grow and how your parents were unaware of the pain they inflicted. Your present consciousness recreates the past by liberating the energy within you that got imprisoned by it. You are literally creating a new timeline in the past, which will affect your current relationship with your parents. They will sense a difference in you and if they are open to it, your relationship will change for the better. You have opened up the past through your new perception, and thus created a new timeline in which more understanding and love exists. This is a real possibility.

With your consciousness you can break open time. Time is not fixed and closed behind you; the past is not really over. Whatever you have experienced, even when there were traumatizing events in your past which profoundly influenced you, there are openings available from the present to bring comfort, love, and encouragement to yourself in that past. The past is like so many solar rays that come from your core, to which you can still make a connection if you go to the center of the Sun.

You can recreate your own past – enlighten and lighten it – by looking with more understanding at who you were and at the people who were around you. If you do this, you simultaneously recreate the past as well as create a new future, because shedding light on the past and altering the energy you carry from the past will activate a new and brighter future for you. Neither past nor future are fixed; you can influence both of them from the Now moment and you can do so most powerfully when you are in your center, which means you are connected to your soul.

Where you stand in the Now is an experience – a living, creative moment – and not a dash on a ruler, nor a dash on a timeline. From the well of the Now, all timelines spring. The Now is where you are in the present moment – where you are with your full attention is the Now. As soon as you are attentive to this most enlightened and present part of you – your core, your soul, your consciousness – then you radiate from this sun-center toward both your past and your future, and it all comes together. Time is not a straight line; you can imagine it better as an intricate 3D spider web, fanning out in all directions both past and future.

And what can you do with this knowledge in the present, in your everyday life? You can become aware of your own strength and potential. Everything is within the range of your power, both past and future. There is no power outside you; no power that determines your future or says what your past must be – nothing is determined. You are the creator, always, and in every moment. In that sense, you are master over your own past and your own future. If you remain in your core, you can hold on to this consciousness, this source of light. In the continual realization of this source lies your confidence, safety, and surrender. If you are in the center of this sun, you know you can surrender to it – it is apparent and natural for you to do so. However, once you leave the center and start thinking: “How do I escape my terrible past? How do I create a future in this world that is so full of fear and threat?”, you are already out of your core. The art of this transformative process is to go back into your core, your center, and to not want to solve problems through thinking, but to seek solutions from within the core, the center of your sun, the Now – where there is no time! This is the Home where you are who you are, and where there is nothing outside you that can determine or keep you from your destiny.

I ask you to imagine again that you are in the center of this radiant sun that you are. You feel one with the light and strength that is there, and it is effortless for you to do so, because this sun exists within you already. And now imagine that somewhere in that web of rays emitting from your inner sun is a timeline from the past that needs to come more into the light. You do not have to feel or see something concrete, simply imagine that the light from your sun easily fills that dark alleyway from the past. It may be that you do not quite manage to fully rekindle the light there, but the light has made an initial connection with that timeline from the past, so you can come to it again whenever you want to do so. Say to these past events now surrounded by your sun-light: “Everything that needs to receive Light, receives that Light from me. Old pain and trauma that want to be resolved and released can now come forth into my Light.” Let go of all clinging to these past occurrences, they do not define who you are; you are not the darkness you perceive there – you are the Light!  You – operating from the center of your Sun – are the liberator and healer of the past and thereby the creator of the future.

Now go to the future. The future lies around you as a huge 3D spider web with many threads, and you are at its center. The future is not something that comes to you from the outside. The threads of the web spring from your heart; they are spun effortlessly by the continual thoughts and feelings you have. The inner states you fluctuate between create countless possible timelines. You do not have to do anything special to make that happen – it simply happens because you are a sun who cannot help but radiate outwardly. It is in your nature to be a Creator. Now, ask the future, ask that web of timelines to show you what is the brightest thread for you at the moment. Ask: “What do I need to focus on now? What direction should I follow now so that I can walk into a beautiful and radiant future? What do I need to be aware of now, in this moment?” There will come an urging from the center of this sun that you are, so just be open to it. Your soul wants to reassure you and to encourage you to connect with a powerful, beautiful future that is already lying dormant within your being.

Be aware of how effortlessly that future will come to you; you do not have to strive or work for it. Stay in the Now. Feel in your heart how the energy of this beautiful, bright future is already a part of you. In this way, you will draw it to yourself with more ease. Feel that beautiful future in your heart and awaken it by simply rejoicing in it. Be open to its lovely vibration. Invite it into your heart and into your hands, and through your open hands, let it flow out into the Earth. Let it happen – it will take root naturally. Have confidence in your future and feel your sun power deeply within. Feel it in your heart, feel it in your belly, feel it in your legs. Allow that sun power to be grounded through your feet© Pamela Kribbe

– The channelings are available in book form. – 

The Lightworker series and The Healing series are also available as audio books –

Guide to Archangels and Crystals ~ Haripriya Suraj @ Reiki With Friends

art chakra healing products  crystals, rocks and gems

ART : Chakra Healing Products, Crystals, Rocks and Gems


Guide to Archangels and Crystals


by reikiwithfriends in All About Crystals, Angels & Archangels Tags:

Article by Haripriya Suraj, Reiki Master, Reiki Rays

This is for everyone who likes working with angels and crystals ☺

Who are the Archangels?

The angelic realm is like a celestial workforce with varied departments. There are guardian angels, archangels, nature angels, romance angels/cherubs and many other categories of angels working together.

The Archangels belong to one department. Their energies are very pure and of a high vibration, resonating closely with the energies of Source or God. They each represent one aspect or quality of Source. By connecting with the archangels, we get in touch with the same qualities latent in us. We strengthen those aspects, thereby dropping layers of conditioning and negativity. We step outside the veil of amnesia and remember who we truly are. We recognise the light shining within us.

It is often misunderstood that the angels are around only to fulfil our wishes or to perform miracles in our lives. While it is true that wishes get fulfilled and miracles happen, it is not true that the angels do this for us. By connecting with angelic energies, we raise our vibration to a level which enables us to live a life of miracles. The energy of the angels only acts as a medium for us to get in touch with that part of ourselves where everything is a possibility.

The table below provides a brief summary of fifteen archangels that I learnt about from the work of Doreen Virtue. Ever since, I have worked extensively with each of them both to heal myself and to help others heal. Every archangel is associated with a crystal. If you feel a connection with any of the archangels, you may benefit by working with the corresponding crystal. And if you are drawn to a particular crystal, you may enjoy working with the corresponding archangel!

The more you work with angels and crystals, the more you will discover their resonance with Reiki. You will also learn to seamlessly integrate one with the other. Reiki, angels and crystals form a soul stirring combination indeed!

Archangel Michael

There are no complicated rituals or practices you need to do to connect with the archangels. Just call on them, talk to them, write letters to them and express your gratitude for their help. Do anything that will help you connect. Once you take the first step, their energies will pour into your life and show you the path.

Archangel Helps With Associated Crystal
Ariel Environmental issues, animal welfare and healing, healing plants, healing the planet Rose Quartz
Azrael Peaceful passing over, comfort to the grieving and heartbroken, development of counselling skills Yellow calcite
Chamuel Finding new love, friendship, career, job, lost objects, peace in relationships, healing soul mate relationships Green Fluorite
Gabriel Conception, pregnancy and birth, adoption, early childhood issues, life path of spiritual teachers and writers Citrine
Haniel Menstrual cycle, hormonal issues, fertility, personal harmony, balance, honouring sensitivity Moonstone
Jeremiel Healing unhealed patterns, conducting life reviews, emotional healing Amethyst
Jophiel Clearing negative energies, artistic projects, development of inner beauty, radiating grace Pink tourmaline, Rubelite
Metatron Chakra clearing, issues with older children, developing spiritual awareness in children Watermelon Tourmaline
Michael Freedom from fear, safety and protection, spiritual life purpose, spiritual growth, building a healing practice, guidance or assistance for mechanical repair work, cutting energetic cords Sugilite
Raguel Conflict resolution, justice and fairness, harmony Aqua aura, Aquamarine
Raphael Physical healing, good health, assistance to healers, travel safety Malachite, Emerald
Raziel Clairvoyance, manifestation, third eye healing, esoteric learning, past life healing Clear quartz
Sandalphon Healing through music Turquoise
Uriel Uncovering divine wisdom, intellectual learning and growth Amber
Zadkiel Memory, spiritual teaching and learning, healing the heart

MARY MAGDALENE: Letting Go of the Third Dimension ~ Mercedes Kirkel @ Into The Heart



MARY MAGDALENE: Letting Go of the Third Dimension

Picture by ผู้สร้างสรรค์ผลงาน/ส่งข้อมูลเก็บในคลังข้อมูลเสรีวิกิมีเดียคอมมอนส์ - เทวประภาส มากคล้าย

Part 6 of a Message
Received by Mercedes Kirkel
On November 19, 2014

Question: Mary, I feel this spiritual quickening in my life and I’m having trouble keeping up. Do you have any advice how to keep in balance with this? Things are just coming so fast. How do I integrate my physical life with the quickening of the spiritual life? The physical life is so slow and the spiritual life is so quick. I don’t know how to integrate that so that the physical life is in balance with the spiritual.

Mary Magdalene: It requires letting go. The more you’re holding on, the harder it will be—the more impossible, ultimately, it will be. The more you let go and surrender, then you will be able to do everything that is necessary to do.

Questioner: I don’t know what you mean by surrendering and let go. Can you explain that a little more?

Mary Magdalene: It’s calling for a greater degree of letting go, which is ultimately letting go in God. The first step is to become aware of how you may be holding on, trying to do it by third-dimensional, mechanical means. That is becoming less and less viable.

Part of this spiritual process is that you are in a process of transforming how things will get accomplished. More and more you’re being called upon to let go in God and let God direct you as to what to do. That will be the way that will be perfect.

Questioner: (Taking a big breath) OK, I can do it.

Mary Magdalene: You’ll get instant feedback whether you are doing it or not! (She laughs.)

Questioner: Thank you.

Mary Magdalene: This process of letting go of the third dimension is not easy. Your attachments to the third dimension are profound, profound. It is a kind of a death process. It is what beings experience when they let go of the third dimension in dying, and how difficult that is for many. This is part of why you practice things like meditation, because meditation is a form of that letting go, that release. Meditation trains you to more and more come from that place. There are these processes, and there are many various forms, but if it is a true meditation it is helping you to let go. That may be something to do more of.

Questioner: Right, absolutely. Thank you.

I still would like a little bit of clarity about how we are in the third dimension but also letting go of it. It sort of sounds like a contradiction.

Mary Magdalene: You’re letting go of the third dimensional process of being.

Questioner: Process of being vs. actually being here. We aren’t dying, we are just…

Mary Magdalene: Right. You’re more and more integrating a higher-dimensional way of being, even while you’re still here. You may be partly in the higher dimension. It may be a percentage of being here and being there.

The third dimension is very much about power. The way in the third dimension is about bringing power, or you might say “force,” to doing things. Many people are familiar with this when they think about willpower, doing things in a willful way. You’re now learning a different way and seeing that, more and more, the willful, forceful way causes great conflict and tension, and ultimately doesn’t work. As things get faster and faster, it will work less and less.

©2015 Mercedes Kirkel,, All Rights Reserved. Permission is given to share this message as long as the message is posted in its entirety, nothing has been changed or altered in any way, and Mercedes Kirkel’s credit of authorship, this copyright notice, and Mercedes Kirkel’s website ( are included. To receive ongoing messages from Mary Magdalene and others, go to and sign up for the Into The Heart weekly newsletter.

Reintegrating a Soul Aspect ~ Linda Dillon @ Council of Love

art Yelizaveta at Tumblr

ART : Yelizaveta @ Tumblr


Reintegrating a Soul Aspect

War 22The reintegration of our soul aspects or past lives contributes qualities to us, some of which we may have to modify or mitigate and some of which are positive additions through and through.

Our soul aspects are our real ancestors, not our genetic forebears. And they’re apparently returning to take their place at the table and assist us. One of mine, whom I call the General, has been a real challenge to assimilate and that process will, I’m told, be ongoing.

Here are elements of the discussion I had with Archangel Michael on the subject in a recent reading (April 24, 2015).

The General confronted an empire and won a great battle, but, after years of fighting and attrition, he lost the war. He’s a massive personality. AAM and I are discussing his recent arrival.

Steve Beckow: Can you describe what happened last week when the General appeared to take his place at the table?

Archangel Michael: I had suggested to thee that you had not completed the integration with the General. We also would suggest, and you would agree in hindsight, that this man is rather large.

SB: Oh yah! I agree!

AAM: Now, you’re not done with the General yet.

SB: Good! I love his energy! I want more!

AAM: Oh, you will have more!

SB: He’s indomitable and immovable and yet he’s still [open to the higher vibrations] … I’m really happy to hear that!  Will it be soon or late?

AAM: It is immediate. So this will continue. What is going on is …. Think of it in terms of the waves. The General has come in and introduced himself very quietly and discreetly some time ago.

Then he has literally thundered into your apartment and, as you have put it, took his place at the table. He has become the immovable object and you have felt the essence of that energy but you have not fully anchored the fullness because it would bowl you over.

SB: Really! Well, I’m sure everybody concerned knows how much energy I should receive. I leave it in your capable hands.

AAM: The last thing we wish to do is to incapacitate you. The entire purpose of these various waves and integrations, of which there have been several, is that you come to know and feel very comfortable and inviting to these energies.

Then it becomes something that is delightful and integrated in a way that is of joy, rather than overwhelm.

Now have there been moments of overwhelm? Yes, but it doesn’t leave you overwhelmed. If you were to be pushed or pulled too strongly, then you would have difficulty in being able to write about it. (1)

SB: Okay, well, I know that you have it well in hand. Just know, for me, as I’m sure you already do know, it’s a real thrill. I’ve learned so much from his energy and I welcome it so, I’m okay.

AAM: One of the things that has continued on and that you are not quite putting the dots together on is that the General was very much interested in money and finances.

SB: Oh! Well, I guess so, sure!

AAM: Well, he had to be. He was always looking to have his forays financed, his various projects. He had need to make sure that the troops were fed, clothed, and watered. So, yes, that is the aspect of the General that you have been working with.

SB: Is that the reason I’ve been doing so much work on the [name of an organization being created] and the Project for Gender Equality?

AAM: That is correct.

SB: Oh, that’s the reason. Well, I’ll be darned.

I’m very much excited about the General so just know that I welcome any assimilation of his energies and any guidance that’s needed.

AAM: He is fully present!

SB: I’m so pleased to hear that. (2)

We had time at the end of the reading and so I returned to the subject.

SB: Coming back to the General, what can I do to contain more of his energy? I was really impressed with his gravitas, his weight. I want to facilitate that process.

AAM: Here’s what you do:  In meditation or in reflection mode, sit down, make room (two chairs, not that he really needs a chair. In fact, he needs an entire couch!). Invite him back in.

As we say, the residue and the adjustment with the energies has been going on, but is there more? Yes, there most certainly is. So invite him back in and ask for a deeper exposure.

SB: How did he get to be such a weighty individual! Is it all the warfare?

AAM: Yes, warfare has played a significant role. Not only authority as in leadership, and one of the things you are learning from him is this measure of being a new leader without the authoritarian aspect that the General certainly carried.

It was also the sense of deep responsibility that became extraordinarily weighty for him.

It was also the core issue of him being determined that he would complete his mission: His desire, his purpose, which was in his mind, was the expansion of the [his own people’s] empire and the exposure of the human race to different ways of thinking and being.

He took a personal sense of responsibility for each and every one of his charges. So while there was this authoritarian piece of him, there was also this very humanitarian piece of him. So that the sense you often get with him and that density is the sense that he is lifting up and carrying thousands.

One of the things that you have experienced where this merger and integration is taking place is that you often have this feeling that you are carrying thousands.

SB: That’s the job that I do.

AAM: It is also important for you to find the joy.

The General was not a particularly joyful person, although there were moments of what he would call joy. [Name of a campaign], achieving goals. He was an exceptionally driven individual.

Understand that, as you are integrating, you are tempering, as with all of your integrations, some of these qualities. And at the same time you are allowing the reinforcement of some other qualities.  (3)

I’m already noticing differences in myself as a result of this ongoing assimilation.

One is that a script of mine has disappeared. I used to consider myself unlovable. That probably arose because I opposed my Father’s mistreatment of my Mother and anyone who hated his Father as much as I did must be unloveable.  After all, the Bible says to love thy Father and thy Mother and I did not.

But, with the arrival of this gravitas, that “unlovable” script has simply disappeared. I can’t say it was swept aside or dissolved or what happened to it. It’s just gone.

With what consequence? Well, one consequence is that I’d have presented myself socially as if at some level I regarded myself as a left-over from a fire sale. Real issues of unworthiness were present.

But now I don’t feel that way at all. If anything, I’m taking myself very seriously.  I realize that I have an important role to play and I need to be meeting and conversing with people of an equally-serious, equally-mature cast of mind and heart.

I feel no self-importance or snobbishness, just a weightiness of purpose. Coming from this place, I have no desire to sell myself or my mission short. If anything, I have a desire to use caution in whom I meet and to take the requirements of my mission into full account in all I do.

Thanks to Dana for this transcript.

All channeled material is copyright by Linda Dillon and the Council of Love, 2015, and used with permission.


(1) Notice this indirect re-affirmation of part of my mission, to write about the stages of unfoldment I pass through.

(2) Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow, through Linda Dillon, April 24, 2015.

(3) Loc. cit.


art Yelizaveta at Tumblr

There are many ways to be a warrior–How-Ta-Shai @ Awakening with Suzanne Lie

suzanne lie 4.5.

Friday, May 1, 2015

There are many ways to be a warrior–How-Ta-Shai

May 1, 2015

There are many ways of being a leader.

How-ta-shai’s tells his story

Introduction to How-Ta-Shai, The Medicine Man

19th Century United States

This young boy was born to be a warrior.  As soon as he could walk, he remembered wanting to ride a horse.  If his mother didn’t watch him, he would run off to where the horses were penned and try to walk among them.  Remarkably enough, he was never hurt.  Many times, he would escape the eyes of the adults who were watching him and run to the horses.  Once they realized that he wouldn’t get hurt, they let him do so.  Perhaps he thought he was a horse instead of a ‘two-legged.’  Or perhaps he just cherished the horses’ power.

As everyone suspected, he became an excellent horseman, and everyone knew he would be a brave warrior until the most unexpected thing happened.  He fell from his horse.  In fact, he was sure an invisible force had pushed him.  He was thirteen and on his first buffalo hunt.  He was feeling like a man, but not acting like one because he thought he was better than the horse; he was the hunter.

This pride got him in trouble.  He wasn’t respecting the horse or the buffalo, and when the horse moved quickly to the left, he moved to the right. He was so caught up in the act of being a ‘man’ that he behaved like a small boy and forgot his very first lesson.  He and the horse were one. And so, in his arrogance, he fell from the horse, right into the path of a raging buffalo.

Worse yet, he fell onto his shoulder and his right arm lay limp at his side.  He grabbed his spear with his left hand and, just as the Spirit had pushed him from the horse, the Spirit led his arm true and struck the buffalo with his spear.  The giant animal did not die with one stroke, but he stumbled.  This gave the boy time to jump up and run to his horse, which waited for him in spite of the great danger.

With his remaining good arm, the boy pulled himself on to the horse’s back and rode to safety. The other hunters had witnessed this scene and released the buffalo from life. The young hunter had struck the first blow on a mighty buffalo, and he was a hero.  However, he realized, as his spear arm lay limp at his side, that he would never be a warrior.

His shoulder healed much quicker than his heart.  He recovered most of the movement of his arm, but he could not throw a spear or use a bow and arrow.  Finally, he learned to use his arm well enough to hunt, but he did not have the strength to go into battle.  And so he brooded.  His life was over.  He was not a warrior. He was barely a man!  How could he live with this handicap?

He was useless.  His life was over before it had a chance to begin.  He wandered around supposedly on hunting trips, but he had no heart for hunting.  He didn’t even enjoy riding his horse.  He would have to leave the tribe.  He had nothing to give and it was selfish for him to stay.  He did not know where to go.  He only knew he had to leave.

One morning, before dawn, he gathered a few things and slipped out of the teepee before anyone else awoke.  He headed due west, away from the rising sun, and away from his dreams.  He did not know where he was going, or why.  He didn’t care.  For days and days, he walked.  He hadn’t brought his horse, as a warrior needed it and he had no right to take it with him.

After many rising and setting suns, he came into a territory that was new to him. By the end of the second moon cycle, he was lost.  Of course, he wasn’t lost in the sense that he couldn’t go home; but he was lost in that he had no idea where he was or what he would experience next.  He was not afraid.  Nothing worse could happen to him.  Maybe if he could lose his past, he could find a future.

In the distance, he saw a high cliff and decided he would climb to the top to seek his vision. He buried his provisions at the bottom of the cliff, as he would need no food or comfort, and began his climb.  The way to the top was very steep, with loose gravel and little to hold on to.

After nearly falling several times, and wishing he had a man’s strength in both of his arms, he finally reached the top of the cliff as the last rays of the sun were setting below the horizon.  He found a small niche in which to sit and curled himself up to wait.  The night grew colder and colder, yet he hardly noticed. He vowed that he would not move until he had received his vision.  With every hour, he drew deeper and deeper into himself.  By dawn, he was in a deep trance.

Gradually, a storm began to gather about him.  It seemed to echo the storm that raged within his soul.  The weather became colder and colder, and the wind grew icy.  He knew that soon it would be the first snow.  It had been many moons since his injury.  The plains and the pain of his wasted life seemed far below him now.  From his perch on the cliff, he felt like he was a part of the growing force of Nature, and less and less a part of his physical body.

As the wind whipped about him, he could feel his Spirit being tugged by it.  He wished to fly like the wind and roar like the thunder and be free once and for all of the limitations of his wounded body.  His anger and disappointment filled his heart and mind, and he wished to leave the clay prison of his body.

“’Grandfather,” he cried to the howling wind. “Take me with you!”

He surrendered to the pull of nature’s storm, and, with a flash of lightning, he was pulled out of his body.  He looked down and saw a small empty form clinging to the side of a cliff and could vaguely remember it was he.  He took to the wind like a bird.  His Spirit knew no limits, and the turbulence in the air only added to his excitement.  He didn’t know where he was or where he was going.  He didn’t care if he ever returned to that small shell.

He was Home now.  He was the wind and the sky that held it. He was lifted higher and higher away from where, and whom, he once was.  He seemed to lose consciousness for a moment, and when he awoke, he found himself on the plains.  He was alone except for one buffalo that was as white as snow.

“They are coming to kill us!” it said. “They will gain power over you by killing us and there is nothing we can do to stop them.”

With these words, the buffalo turned and walked away.

The Spirit of the Indian ran after him with many questions.

“’Who are ‘THEY’?  Why do they want power over us?  How can they kill you?’

But the buffalo was just an animal now.  It was no longer white, and it was all alone.  The man turned around and saw many mounds off in the distance.  He could not make them out, so he went closer to investigate.

As he got closer, he saw that the mounds were dead buffalo–thousands of them, lying dead on the prairie.  Some were skinned, but the precious meat was left to spoil in the sun.  Some were wounded and left to suffer and die a slow death.  Some were calves and some were pregnant cows.  What was this atrocity?

“Who could do such a thing, and why?”  The white buffalo’s words echoed in his head, “They will gain power over you by killing us.”

He must stop the slaughter.  He could not allow this to happen.  He must return to his tribe and warn them. He could not abandon his people in their time of need.  With that thought, he was suddenly aware of himself way below his Spirit, pressed against the side of a cliff.  He looked as dead as the buffalo on the plains.

His face was white, his lips were blue, and there was snow all around him.  He must get back into his body before it was too late.  He struggled to return, but the very wind that had given him freedom was now causing his death.  The currents of air were strong and they pushed him away from his body.  He knew that in order to return to it he would have to WANT to live.  He would have to fight for the right to be alive–alive with a purpose.  He must return and help his people.

Gradually, he could feel himself moving towards his body.  He reached for it as if he could pull himself back into it.  When he finally touched it, it was ice cold.  It was too late.  He was already dead.  If he entered his body now, maybe he would be a ghost, caught forever between two worlds, but he had to take that chance.  He had to believe that he could restore himself to health.  And then, suddenly, all was dark and he was cold, very, very, cold!  He tried to move but could not.

His arms and legs were ice, and he could not feel his fingers or toes.  He collapsed into a small heap trying to hold within him any heat he could.  He had to get warm.  Gradually, he found he could crawl.  Actually, he was dragging himself with his elbows.  There seemed to be an indentation just ahead; perhaps it was a cave.

After what seemed like a very long time, he reached the mouth of the cave.  He rolled into it, but it was slanted down and he felt himself rolling out of control.  He rolled and rolled until he was suddenly stopped by something big and furry.  It was a bear.  He didn’t care.  It was warm.  He fell into the warmth of its fur and passed out.

He didn’t know how long he was unconscious, but when he awoke he was warm, or at least he wasn’t cold.  And he could move.  His hands and legs obeyed his command, but his fingers and toes were on fire as though a million bees were stinging him.  Rubbing his hands together, he willed himself to sit up and get his bearings.  Gradually, as his eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, he found he was alone.  But on the floor beside him was a pile of roots.  They were almost frozen, but they were edible.

Why was this pile of roots in the cave?  He knew he hadn’t put them there. He still was not sure where he was or how he had gotten there.  Then he remembered the vision and his struggle to return to his frozen body, his fall into the cave, and the bear.  He had never heard of a bear taking food into his cave.  But it was food, and he was starving.  He began to eat the roots, and once he started, there was not another thought until he had eaten them all.  When he finished, he was thirsty and he crawled to the mouth of the cave, amazed at how weak he still was, to eat some snow.

Where was the bear?  Had he found another cave, or was he on his last search for food before his hibernation?  If that were the case, he needed to leave before the bear returned.  But with the thought of leaving the sheltered cave, he realized he was still too weak.  If the bear were going to kill him, he would already have done so.  Besides, he surely could not yet survive outside.  He crawled back to the deepest depths of the cave and fell asleep.

Several times he came to the edges of wakefulness and remembered a large furry lump leaning against his sleeping form.  He felt safe, secure, and warm and drifted back into the depth of sleep.  When he awoke fully, he often found more roots, which he ate with a great appetite.  Sometimes the bear was there, and sometimes he was not.  Finally, after an indeterminate length of time, the man was able to stay awake long enough to ponder his situation.

This time when he awoke, he found the bear deeply asleep in the farthest depths of the cave.  It was almost as if the bear knew that the young man was well now, and so he went into his winter’s sleep.  The man realized that the bear had brought him the roots, kept him warm, and in fact, saved his life.  This was a powerful omen as to the purpose of his life.  Nature had saved him and he must pay her back.  He had been granted Bear Medicine, and he would learn to use it.

For two winters he lived in that cave with the bear.  How he survived the first winter, he was not sure.  When he had regained enough strength, he had crawled down to the base of the hill and uncovered his supplies from beneath a pile of snow.  He slept a great deal, snuggled up against the warmth of the bear.  Somehow he survived on the supplies he had recovered and the small animals he caught outside the cave.

His first teachings were in the dream-state.  He met nightly with the Great Spirit and received many instructions.  Upon awaking, he would walk in the snow to try to anchor these instructions into his physical form.  It was during these daily walks that he learned to connect with Nature in a way that he had never done before.  All of Nature was asleep, like him, in the depths of winter, but the Great Spirit never sleep and became a constant companion for the man.

The person that he had always known as he was now dead, and he had not yet given birth to his new self.  He was pregnant with himself.  He was gestating a new essence from deep, deep inside, which was fed every night in his dream state.  As spring began to dawn, so did the seedlings of his new self.  The bear awoke and left him alone in the cave.  He was surprised at how lonely he felt.  He, too, would leave the cave to build himself a shelter against the face of the cliff he had climbed that fateful day at the very beginning of winter.

As he saw the new life of spring all around him, he began to build a new life within himself.  His new self was totally at one with all of Nature.  Like his horses, he could smell water, and, no matter how far he walked from his shelter, he could always return. He ate much like his friend the bear: fish from the rivers and a nearby lake, berries, roots, and small creatures.

One day, while he was eating berries, he felt a strange metamorphosis take over his body.  Suddenly, his hands became very large and furry and his back took on an unfamiliar curve.  His sense of smell was so intense that he was almost dizzy.  He fell down on all fours and began running through the woods at an incredible speed.

He wondered if he just felt like a bear or if someone outside of himself would actually see him as one.  And then he smelled the most magnificent smell he had ever experienced, a female bear.  He came upon her slowly from an upwind direction.  But she was too smart for him, and turned to face him.  She sniffed the air as if she were confused by his scent.  He stood on his hind legs, raised his paws, and growled to impress her.  She had no cub and would be ready soon to mate.  The man/bear turned and ran up the hill, leaving her awaiting his return.

He awoke at the edge of a stream beside the berry patch.  He was naked and what clothes he had were torn from him and lay in shreds around him.  How could he have had the strength to tear his clothes from himself without a knife?  Had it been true?  Had he been a bear, or was it only a vision?  Did it matter?  He lived in two worlds now, the Spirit World and the Land of his Fathers.  He could travel back and forth and never realize that he had changed realities.  Had he lost his mind, or merely exchanged it for his Spirit?

While he was a bear, he had seen some mushrooms.  He would pick them and save them for the full moon, which was coming within a few days.  He realized that there was something important that he must do. Grandfather Sky and Grandmother Earth were calling him. He fasted for three days and stayed as naked as he had been when he awoke by the stream. Then it was time.

The moon was full and high in the sky.  He blessed the mushrooms in each of the four directions, presented them to the Great Spirit, and slowly ate them.  Nausea overtook him briefly, but he did not purge himself.  He laid back and stared into the moon.  She seemed to be speaking to him.

“Remember.  Remember, my warrior?

“Remember what? he wondered.  And a warrior!  Was she taunting him?  He knew he could never be a warrior.

“Oh, but there are many kinds of warriors,’ she said.  ‘They are different only in their choice of weapons.’

“I cannot yield a weapon. Even as a bear, my one arm was weaker!’

The voice ignored his complaint.

“Your weapon shall be your medicine!’

“I have no medicine,’ he argued.

“If you remember who you are, you shall have your medicine. If the bear recognized you, why do you not recognize yourself?’

“But who will be my teacher?  I am alone in the wilderness.’

“Yes, you are right. The wilderness shall be your teacher.’

And then the voice stopped and he saw many visions.  He saw men in blue clothing with saddles and fire sticks like the trappers used. There were many of them – too many. He saw fires, and women and children running in panic.  The men were gone.  Where were they?

How could they have abandoned their families?  No, they had not abandoned them.  He saw the warriors awaiting the battle, but the men in blue were afraid of them, and only fought the women and children.  Had these enemies no honor?

Then he saw naked trees.  The leaves were gone, and the trees were tied together to trap something inside.  He had to free what was trapped inside.  He beat upon the wood, looking for a way in, when he heard laughter.  He looked above him and saw a man in blue inside the strand of trees, with his head and shoulders looking over the dead trees, and down at him.  The man laughed and laughed.

“NO!’ he cried.  ‘I do not want this vision.  It is evil!’

The voice returned.  ‘Cycles end, like the changing moon. But like the moon always returns, so will the People!’

The next vision he saw, he could not understand. There were his people, only there was no space around them.  There were no plains.  There were no buffalo.  Their warriors lay around like sick old men, leaning up against trees and drinking firewater.  They seemed to live in teepees that were not the shape of the medicine wheel, but were flat with something shining on the top.  There were things around them that looked almost like the iron horses, but they were smaller and appeared to be broken.

Everyone was sad and beaten.  And then it happened.  With a bang of the old wooden door, someone came out of a flat teepee.  He was a warrior in full dress.  He had his paint and war bonnet on.  He carried his best bow and arrow.  He did not want the white man’s fire stick.  And in his other hand, held high, was something bright.  Something almost burning, but it did not burn.

It was as light as the sun and spread over the entire camp.  One by one, the lazy, sick men arose and were transformed into mighty warriors.  The chief raised both of his arms high into the sky and summoned the Spirit World.  He looked into the warrior’s face, and in that one face, he saw the faces of his People.

Then all went black.  He saw nothing more.  He tried to bring it back.  He wanted to remember everything, but he couldn’t stay awake.  Something was pulling at his Spirit.  The last thing he saw was his naked form lying on the forest floor.

When he awoke, the sun was high.  He crawled to the stream and rolled into it.  He lay there for most of the day, crawling in and out of the water, until finally he had to find food.  What could his vision have meant? How could the wilderness teach him his medicine?

He spent the rest of the summer answering that question.  The vision was still a mystery, but the wilderness was his teacher.  The sky taught him how to be free.  The birds let him use their eyes to see land far below them.  The trees told him where to find roots and other edibles.  The bees found him honey, and all the creatures spoke to him in a language without words.

As he moved through the woods, he somehow knew that this bark could heal pain and this flower would ease the fire in a wound.  Nature gave her secrets to him.  As the days shortened and the nights grew cold, his lessons continued.  Then he knew it was time to return to the female bear.  Did they really mate or was it a vision?  All he could remember was that they appeared to become one being.  Was she really a bear or was she his Spirit Guide?

Then winter was upon him and he knew that he would hibernate like the bear.  He had gathered his food and an old stag had given his life up for him.  His bear mate had told him where to find it.  From this gift of Nature, he made his winter clothes and set up his provisions.  When he went to the cave for his winter’s rest, the bear was waiting for him.  He looked at his two-legged roommate and ambled to the back of the cave.

The man seldom took walks this winter. He was too busy dreaming.  He walked the skies with the Grandfathers and returned to Grandmother Earth only to eat and relieve him self.  When spring came, he was ready.  He didn’t know for what, but he was ready.  One day he awoke and the bear was gone.

He knew that he, too, must now leave the safety of the cave.  He gathered his few possessions, as he knew that he would not return.  He had received his lessons.  He had learned his Medicine.  Now he must use it for the good of his people.  He would return to them now.  He had something to share with them.  He was a warrior and his weapon was his Medicine.

He decided to take one last tour of the valley to say goodbye and to gather provisions for his long journey home.  Every tree and blade of grass seemed to know him.  The flowers turned in his direction, and the animals, insects, and birds seemed to recognize him.  Finally, with the sadness of goodbye and the joy of hope and purpose, he turned one last time as he reached the edge of the valley.  What was that he saw in the distance?  Yes, it was his bear mate.  And beside her was a small cub.

“But what did the vision mean?” asked Shature.

How-ta-shai’s face grew gray and sad.

“The vision was the Truth, although it took me many years to know it.”

He motioned his hand to the right of him, toward the old, dying man.  An Indian woman was entering the teepee with a small bowl of food and a skin of water.  The old man waved it away.

“’I will not eat until the Bluecoats allow us to place our teepees outside the walls of this fort.’

The young woman nodded with sadness and respect and backed out of the teepee with the untouched food.  She looked over to the Commander of the fort who was just entering his quarters, set the food down in front of the teepee, and left.

The Commander had no taste for this job.  What was the point in torturing these people further?  Every morning, as he entered his office, they placed the old Medicine Man’s food outside his teepee.  And every evening, they took that same full plate of food away as the commander left his office.  He had heard that each remaining member of the tribe had sacrificed a small portion of their nearly inedible food as a gesture of support for their one remaining warrior.

The commander had served in the Civil War and had fought many brave battles, but he saw no purpose in shaming these poor, defeated people any more.  However, his orders were to keep them within the confines of the fort.  Where would they go now?  There were so few of them left.  The warriors were dead or in prison.  But he had to obey his orders, didn’t he?

And then one morning, as he walked up the stairs to his office, he turned to look at the familiar scene of the food in front of the old man’s teepee.  But instead, he saw the women taking down the teepee and wrapping the old Medicine Man in a burial skin.  They all turned to look straight into the face of the Commander, their eyes shown with pride and love.  Even the children stopped to make sure he knew what had happened.

The Commander had seen many terrible things in his long military career, but the simple sight of the loss of one courageous old man struck his heart.  He found that he had to lean against the pillar of the porch to regain his composure.  He then called his Lieutenant and said in his most powerful voice:

“’Lieutenant, tell these people to set up their teepees outside the fort!’”


As the Medicine Man finished his story, Shature felt the deep sorrow of “The People.” She had heard the story with her heart and was in awe of How-ta-shai’s courage.  Could she be such a brave warrior when she returned to Earth?

“There are many ways to be a warrior,” spoke How-ta-shai.  “Remember my story.  I had to lose my ability to be a warrior in the way that I had wanted order to be a warrior in the manner that was my destiny.  I did not share with you the many years in which I was of great service to my people.  These were years filled with happiness, service and love.  Later, I had to learn to keep that love alive during years and years of pain, suffering and loss.

“At my death, the only thing that I had left was Love itself. Love for something greater than the material world.  Love for an ideal.  I had sacrificed myself as a symbol of the love I held for the ways of my people.  It took a lifetime of service to achieve it, but I can now give you a love that is transpersonal and beyond human emotions.  This love is an energy field and a beam of power.  Take this gift from me and hold it in your heart.”

The Medicine Man stood up and Shature followed his example.  He circled the fire and embraced her, heart to heart.  She could feel his bear energy, his love of Nature, and all his pain that he had transformed into wisdom.  Yes, she would hold this gift forever, beyond all life and death, within her Heart.

From: Reconstructing Reality by Suzanne Lie

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Posted by Sue at 10:38 PM