ART ~ Perfume - by Kinuko Y Craft
By Mercedes Kirkel
My mother is in the hospital and seems like she may be dying. Like many elderly people who seem to be approaching death, her process has been up and down, and none of us really know if this will be “it.”
The sense I have is that she’s hovering between the worlds. I believe at some point her soul will choose whether this is her time to transition out of this realm or not. In the meantime, we’re all kind of in limbo—both my mom and the relatives who’ve gathered to be with her. I’m actually enjoying this space, because I’m getting to see new sides to my mom. She seems to be in a beatific state much of the time, which is quite wonderful to be around.
At other times, she’s letting out parts of herself I don’t usually see and which I imagine she generally holds back. But now it’s as if she doesn’t have a reason to do that anymore. So she’s being very honest, funny at times, and also quite profound.
The other afternoon was an amazing example of this. My mom spontaneously began to give an extended speech, speaking quite slowly and deliberately. She began by saying that so often we don’t spend our time doing what’s important. I asked her what the important things are that we should be doing. And that’s what launched her into her “discourse.” She reminded me of someone giving a commencement speech at a college, inspiring young adults who are just about to begin their life with instructions on how to go forth into the world with the highest integrity, purposefulness, and meaning. Her talk also reminded me of President Kennedy’s famous “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country” speech. And it reminded me of one other thing.
It reminded me of channeling. This was a total surprise to me, because my mother is completely skeptical about anything “spiritual,” and channeling is at the far end of the spectrum of spiritual things she doesn’t relate to. Somehow she’s come to peace with my relationship to Mary Magdalene, which I suspect is because she has a high level of tolerance for other’s beliefs. But for herself, the concept of channeling is way too “woo-woo” for her to even consider.
Yet it sure sounded like channeling to me. The “foreignness” of her tone of voice, the words she was using—including referring to herself as “we,” and the exalted nature of the concepts she was expressing all reminded me right away of what I experience when I channel. Not to mention the profundity of the message, along with the intensity of her energy in communicating it—as though this was the most important gift she could impart to us. She sounded like an emissary from an advanced cosmic civilization who was revealing truths of the universe to all us Earthlings.
As I listened to her, I began to open to a new idea of who my mother might be. Perhaps she wasn’t just “my mom,” someone so familiar to me who I had enjoyed and struggled with in all the usual ways. Perhaps she was giving me a glimpse of who she really is, in her essence. Was she revealing the mission her soul had received upon incarnating, which only now she could finally share with us? Was she really a high-level soul, more than I had ever imagined?
As we approach the death portal and then finally go through it, I think we open up to perceptions of reality and experiences we don’t commonly have in this realm. Those who’ve undergone near-death-experiences certainly seem to corroborate that. Doesn’t it also make sense that someone approaching the death transition could also be having non-ordinary, yet very “real” experiences?
I was deeply touched by what I experienced with my mother and expanded in the love and closeness I feel with her. It was yet another contribution to my ever-growing foundation of seeing who we really are, which I think is so much greater than most of us are generally aware of. I can imagine shifting into a new way of relating to everyone—as a soul with their own special mission in this world, which they’re doing their best to incarnate. I have that feeling about myself. Why not my mother? Why not everyone?
I like that image very much.
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