(Concluded from Part 1.)
The conditioned patterns arising in me right now derive from stubborn, hidden, survival-based impressions in the deeper reaches of the mind. Primitive, early childhood threats to survival. The earliest traumatic moments. Demanding to be recognized.
Self-images – sometimes caricatures – are arising to be seen. Positioning within the family. Cherished goals. Gender stereotypes. Bigotry. Downright miserableness. I’m seeing it all right now.
When Jesus said everything hid shall be seen, (1) I didn’t know that he meant me. I didn’t know I’d have to look at it all and examine it. Having our sponges wrung dry in this way is challenging.
Moreover, my consciousness has become more acute and so a lot less misses my attention.
Ironically, I have no memory but an acute consciousness. At least I don’t have to carry my thoughts around. This file does; not me.
But then maybe that’s the point. I’m asked to let go of Third-Dimensional memories. Meanwhile, my ability to be present and sense the now, which is a higher-dimensional trait, is sharpened. Why can I not see the evolutionary value of my situation – no memory but sharper consciousness?
The last point in my process overview.
I’m coming to see that I can’t go much further without having accepted the whole of my past. Complete, incomplete, good, bad, indifferent. All of it.
I have to have looked at as much as I can, learned from what I could, and let the rest go. If I don’t, then I need to take what arises later from that choice without complaint. But the invitation in any moment is to be complete, now, and to come from being complete in the future.
I need to resolve any remaining issues in my life, either with the people themselves or with them in my heart. Again, no complaints if I take the latter option.
I have to have the declaration that I’m complete be rock-solid. Being complete is a stand and like all stands it can be contested.
I need to be able to withstand having my stand of completion contested while not sacrificing the truth to an act of will.
I need to create completion as a possibility, create it as an actuality, and then embrace it unequivocally.
There’s much correspondence to this and what the Arcturians called “mastery over all thoughts and feelings.” Again another higher-dimensional trait or attribute. And again, another “initiation.”
My completion doesn’t absolve me from repentance or apology should the need arise. I’ve been as much of a jerk as anyone in my threescore years and ten.
As the observer of my life, I must be able to review – and look forward to – all parts of it equanimously, if I’m to approach life higher-dimensionally and, I hope, enter into its flow.
(1) “For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.” Luke 8:17. “Fear them not therefore, for there is nothing covered that shall not be revealed, and hid that shall not be known.” Matthew 10:26.