My Life is Mine to Create – Part 2/2 – Steve Beckow @ Golden Age of Gaia

Art Buddha and The Bodhi Tree by Amulya Jayapal – Behance.


My Life is Mine to Create – Part 2/2

(Concluded from Part 1)

Written in the midst of a spiritual experience

Meanwhile, everything we do together as a collective is a carefully-scripted drama, in which we have the right to depart from our agreed-upon lines.

Well, now that I’m free of thinking what I do or do not do matters, the question then becomes: Now what? I’m not going anywhere so what do I want to create with the rest of my life?

Where can I turn for guidance? I’ll turn to the Divine Mother:

“I have chosen and created and birthed you into form. That is the Plan at work and I have done this, we have done this, with that spark of divinity so that you would be divine in form.

“And what that means in very practical terms is the assumption of your divine authority to be in charge of your life, of your thoughts, of your feelings, of your actions, of your behaviors, of your steps, of your environments, all the way out to the edges of the universe, throughout all times and dimensions. …

“If you do not take authority over your existence – think in practical terms, this life – then what happens? You are adrift. You are in fact that row boat in the middle of the ocean being twisted and turned every which way. Divine authority means choosing – yes, with … your divine authority of free will – to direct how, where, when, [and] if you choose to proceed.” (1)

Assuming my divine authority, rather than continuing to respond to my vasanas and conditioning, what do I want to create with my life?

If this were the processing of a core issue, then this would be the moment when the individual, having laid the vasana bare, has the opportunity to rechoose.

Do I want to create a sad tale of … whatever … or a tale that I myself can be proud of?

Do I want to see the tragedy in the world continue or do I want a world that works for everyone?

I’ve seen such a world. When the whole planet is in the higher-dimensional state indicated by phrases like sacred love, divine love, true love, transformative love, then the world will work for everyone.

It’s in our future, no matter what. I certainly choose a world so deeply in sacred love that it effortlessly works for everyone. That’s the world of our dreams.

And we’ll have our first taste of it when the Mother grants us our heart opening.

Somehow I find myself in the driver’s seat in a way I wasn’t before. I’ve moved from acting as the victim of circumstances to acting as a self-commanding individual.

As a result of these two realizations – realizations are the ultimate fruit of the awareness path – I feel inspired and energized. I’m more in my power now than I was. (2)


(1) “Repost: The Divine Mother: Assume Your Divine Authority,” 

(2) These are not major realizations so deep that they bring on enlightenment. These are a minor order of realizations, often called peak experiences, transformational moments, or “Aha’s!”


Art Buddha and The Bodhi Tree by Amulya Jayapal – Behance.

My Life is Mine to Create – Part 1/2 – Steve Beckow @ Golden Age of Gaia


My Life is Mine to Create – Part 1/2

September 24, 2017 By Steve Beckow
Written in the midst of a spiritual experience

I’m in the middle of a realization. If I don’t write it down, no trace of it will remain.

I suddenly felt the onset of a wave of love directed from me to myself. For a moment, I fell in love with myself.

I felt the same divine love for myself that I feel for my sacred partner.

I was delighted with myself. And it didn’t depend on what I did or did not do.

I was aware of myself as a being. And I loved myself. Why have I been holding back?

When I saw that love didn’t depend on what I did or did not do, I had yet another realization.

I saw that nothing depended on what I did or did not do, that everything I did was made up anyways. This whole world is illusion compounded and I’m acting as if anything I do truly matters, when it really doesn’t. Not absolutely.

It probably sounds as if I’m demeaning myself. I’m not. At the absolute level, every trace of an individual “I” dies. At that level, none of this that has gone on will retain its meaning.

It’s a very refined form of play acting we do, with some very real consequences on the level on which events transpire. But at the level where we re-unite with the One? No meaning at all.

In my moment of realization, I saw that my life was a series of actions that I’m carefully making up as I go along, moment by moment. I observed myself making it up.

And then I persuade people to believe about events whatever I want them to.  I sell my story to them. But it’s all made up.

It’s all my interpretation, my version of whatever actually happened. It isn’t the truth.

And invariably I construct my version to favor myself, to give myself the benefit of the (read: every) doubt, etc. It’s very refined but nonetheless it’s all there, just spread out over a little more time.

In this second “Aha!” I saw that the matter goes much deeper than just this one instance in which I observed myself “making it up.”

The self-serving bias is one of the hardest viruses to clean out of ourselves, one of the last to go, I believe. I saw how deep it goes in me. And how subtle it is.

I’ve talked about this for years under the term “the constructed self.” May I digress? I think it’s important. This is me the sociologist.

Almost all of what we say, in my estimation, comes from our constructed self, the character or persona we project and try to sell to the world. Our self-image, with its self-serving interpretations. In lightwork, we call it our “service-to-self” persona. I just happened to find myself staring at mine.

This whole thing I call “my life” is simply something I’m making up, self-servingly, as we go along and have made up throughout time. And none of it matters a damn. Not one damn. Not really.

None of what I do or do not do ultimately matters. When I bend the knee before God and hand him back everything he gave me, including my separate identity, what I said to the car mechanic or stewardess won’t matter.

Ultimately we’re dreaming that we’re acting when the real us – the Self, the Christ, the Atman – is not acting. “I am not the doer.”

(Concluded in Part 2)