I asked to have more from Bob’s pen….
The illusion of time is becoming self-evident.
I spent the day today meandering around town remembering, or feeling, what it was like to be a child. I try get out in nature where time is easily lost.
This was life before the concepts of lack and limitation were learned.
It was life before the time when parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, or elders in general would do their best to etch their understanding of the world onto my tabula rasa or blank slate of a mind, sometimes suggestively and sometimes officiously.
I left the house without regard for the departure time and returned the same way.
I am grateful to be able to meander around town like a young kid again, remembering life without or before those nagging constraints arrived.
I felt free to do and go wherever I wanted, with little or no concern for time.
As a child I can remember questions often directed to me, like, “Did you do your homework…clean your room…brush your teeth, say hello to Mrs. Smith,”? etc.
They slipped off me or flew past my attention because they just did not match my frequency. How annoying and annoyed I was to be forced to engage.
It was a struggle not to get dragged into that field of consciousness. It disturbed. It unsettled. It was bothersome.
It felt like being pushed into a room where mister happy goes to die, a room that you didn’t want to go into, at all! With resolve I didn’t allow those distractions into my focus.
The “freedom” I felt has been gradually surfacing and growing from my attempts at paying little or no attention to time. There isn’t a clock in the bedroom or anywhere else in the home except the kitchen, the PC and the phone.
I sleep until I feel like getting up, when possible, but not doing so without some form or level of appreciation for just “being.”
Usually that means that I lay in bed and do some deep breathing meditation until I feel tingly or charged—awakened, to coin a phrase.
Then, I allow myself to rise and loosen up in preparation for some standing meditation before QiGong followed by a “cool down” with a sitting meditation. This practice summonses a lingering feeling of timelessness.
When I don’t regard the usual props or internal prompts that indicate time and rely only on my core guidance I can stay with this feeling of timelessness for quite a while.
When in meditation, in the stillness of the mind, I can notice all manner of different distractions that arise and fall away when their dissolving is allowed.
I’ve been in a peaceful state of mind before only to look at a clock and have an overwhelming sense of urgency present just because “time” caught me with its grip.
“OMG, its 2pm and what have I done with my day? Got to get moving … on something!”
Without a sense of time, I find it interesting how much easier it is to disregard other distractions; they don’t arise.
The heart is given room to listen with the absence of a very loud and annoying voiceover, interfering with life’s appreciations.
A genuine sense of the I Am returns when I can distance myself from time. It is helpful for me to see where the focus is. If the focus is external, then time demands attention.
Focus on the internal does not yield to time. Without the nagging constraints that time demands, a subconscious inner conflict dissolves. Appreciation takes the forefront and there is no room or need to forgive; nothing presents itself.
It makes no sense to interrupt a feeling of calm appreciation or creative joy. So why do I? Where is my focus?
Is it then no wonder that teenage adolescence offers its rebellion? There’s one foot still in joy while the other is being pulled into a world that doesn’t make any sense to the inner workings of the not-yet-completely-socialized, youth.
To children, the socialization process strips away the reliance on the inner self bringing clarity to the phrase, “If you don’t live within, you live without!” meaning, to me, “if you bypass the internal guidance system, the external one will dictate the path and its direction.”
Perhaps when the higher frequencies become home we can use “time” as a supplementary tool without being a victim of it.
My intuition tells me that I can forgive myself of the victimhood time can hold me in while seeing past all of that into my truth.
I do meditations, going within to break free of “time.” I pursue creative endeavors.
And when those pesky voices of guilt, shame, judgment of self or others, criticisms all cry out at me, those nudges from the inner self calling misalignment, I take some deep breaths.
I ask for help to remember my truth, finding that help from my celestial family and the Universal Laws of which I am intricately woven.
Asking for help, repeating invocations and mantras of forgiveness work for me and provide a sense of continuity in reaching lasting forgiveness and connectivity to the I Am That I Am, my celestial family and the Infinite One. Truly, work in progress. And as I have heard before, “That’s why it’s called a practice!”