In the growth movement, we used to talk about “our work,” by which we meant the results of the self-awareness inquiry that all of us were commonly engaged in.
But I’m beginning to see “work” in other lights. I’d like to share them, if you’d allow me.
There are various ways “work” could be – and was – seen. When I use the word, I mean “work” as my general pursuit of the awareness path, which I have focused on myself. (The basic agreement on the awareness path is that we remain aware of ourselves.)
But my “work” could also mean my “imperfections,” as in “he has his work cut out for him,” “he needs to work on himself,” etc.
But it can also be seen from a wider vantage point as what I do in service to the Mother.
Do I forget that particular meaning? Do I ignore it? Do I just “put it aside for the moment”?
Or do I forget it because my memory won’t hold on to anything?
Any one of the above would cause me to lose my sense of “work” as my service to the Mother. The only one that would have me remember it would be intense commitment, dedication, and aides memoires. Remember, remember, remember.
Once I have that under control, I also confess that I love and tend to operate on the middle road, where “work” means my personal work, my self-awareness, self-loving work. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than when awareness expands into love and bliss. They’re communal. They go together.
Just as an aside, some of you probably noticed: The part of the triangle – God is Awareness-Love-Existence Absolute – I haven’t “gotten” is Existence. I amness. And there is no rush.
When I meditate these days, I fall inwards like a rock dropped from someone’s hand into a well. There’s no resistance. I let go of almost everything except my “work.”
When I let go, I hear the thought “you’re here for a reason.” I often speak to myself as “you” but this one was memorably said. I knew it came from outside.
I flashed immediately on the fact that it wasn’t part of the Plan or my plan to fall to the bottom of the well and lose myself. That wasn’t my “work” for the Mother.
I’m a communicator. My work is to remain conscious enough that I stay in touch with you and report on what I see and hear and feel within the compass of both our focuses (OK, foci).
I therefore stop my fall by the all-mastering power of my awareness and get back into the here and nowness of my personal work. It feels like going from a horizontal to a vertical position and the scene changes.
At this moment, I’m in the highest state of awareness I’ve known while retaining consciousness.
I feel freed up. I feel drawn to my Zen roots of plain and open awareness.
The pull to go inwards is again strong, as it becomes periodically.