Paid in Full – Steve Beckow @ Golden Age of Gaia

Art: Tea by Escume @ DeviantArt


Paid in Full

In 1975 (I think it was) medium Irene Griffey told me that my contribution to things would be what she called “inspired address.”

That about fits with what I’m doing.

I get many of my most intriguing ideas in the shower and therefore away from my computer. The thoughts just arise in my head. And then I chafe that I can’t write them down!

This morning the thought arose: Turn your weaknesses into strengths and your strengths into weaknesses.

What in the heck does that mean? Where’s my towel and my computer?

I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I could see levels of meaning in it. My attention was drawn to a deeper level than the obvious one.

But let me pause here. This illustrates how the process of “inspired address”works for me: I don’t know what the next word will be that comes from somewhere and into my computer. I don’t know it until it’s impressed on me.

And now I’m docile enough to just write down whatever comes out, although less inclined to think it merely comes from me.  I seldom know where things are leading any more than you may.

I keep thinking about this particular “inspired” thought: Turn your weaknesses into strengths and your strengths into weaknesses. How does one work with inspired ideas?

I look at “turn your strengths into weaknesses.” I interpret “weaknesses” to myself as “vulnerability” and that resonates with my being.

Making oneself vulnerable turns a weakness into a strength. As I saw this, the truth of it set me free from something that I didn’t even know I was holding onto. I felt release ripple through me. Therefore I’d say that the thought rang true for me.

That side of the equation seems to be teaching humility.

Now, the other side: “Turn your weaknesses into strengths….” Hmmmmm….

Well, here’s one example. I view financial stress as a weakness. However, given that I do feel it, I can turn the situation into an awareness workshop, give it my full attention, and learn from it. That turns a weakness into a strength.

Here’s another example. I’ve always been doing essentially what I’m doing right now – a philosophically-inclined communicator; in this incarnation, a New-Age communicator.

I see the trend in my past lives as well – philosopher, preacher, priest, spreader of communication technology, etc.

But I’ve always felt shame for being heady and intense and look upon these qualities as weaknesses.

Since they’re my weaknesses, I may as well make them a strength. So I stop devaluing myself on the subject and begin to value myself. I remind myself that some people will feel drawn to me and some repelled and that’s OK. I’ve chosen to specialize and this, that I am, is the result.

Again I feel a resonant wave flow through my body as if the truth has set me free from something, an unknown place of holding.

I feel it down my spine, interestingly enough. I have “more backbone” now.

I need to stop running away from the very things that I do day in and day out – and will always do. Stop running away from myself, essentially. Let go of shame and unworthiness.

The way I am at this moment is the way I’ve been working to be all my life. Celebrate! Congratulations. You made it. And here’s the result. This!

Bring the ledger up to date, forgive everyone who needs forgiving, and thank everyone for contributing to this wonderful outcome.

Now, write “paid in full” on the account you call your life and let’s get on with it.

Paid in full.

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