There was a particular lesson that I hadn’t completely gotten as of today.
So many of us seem to need to hear certain things multiple times and in our own language before we really get them. Sometimes we’re waiting for the right description before the penny drops.
The penny dropped for me on the lesson I hadn’t gotten – on the need to love one’s self.
After going through the lesson and the learning, I’d like to show how it’s an instance of a profound spiritual reality – even though it may not sound like it starting out.
I never got the lesson I was being asked to learn as long as it was put as the need to “Love yourself.”
For most of my life, I didn’t know what love was so there was no fertile ground to plant the seed in. And my self-esteem had been pretty badly battered by a critical father. So putting the message this way did not reach me.
I next received the suggestion that I allow Big Steve (my Higher Self) to look after Little Steve (my everyday consciousness). I could get that way of seeing things, but still there was no big click around loving oneself.
This morning, in the shower, I remembered that my shampoo bottle was empty. I got out of the shower, dripping wet, grabbed a new bottle and went back into the shower, leaving water everywhere.
I could have criticized myself for forgetting, but instead a little bird put the thought in my mind: “Be a friend to yourself.”
For whatever reason, though I could not get the lesson the way it was put before, I got “Be a friend to yourself.” It got in.
In a you-and-me world of higher-dimensional love, people are friends with everyone, including themselves. There are no martyrs who sacrifice themselves or victims who demean themselves.
When you’re 100 feet down, drowned in an Ocean of Love, you haven’t an unfriendly thought in your now completely-satisfied mind.
Of course you’re a friend to yourself. No other alternative would exist.
I got it. I got it.
I’ll bet now that I’ll get the other two descriptions as well. “Be a friend to yourself” will have proven the door in.
OK, time now for me to change focus from this particular instance of finding the right door in to the most general view I’m capable of taking.
In my vision experience of 1987, I saw the individual soul (God the Child) following the trajectory of a circle, from God the Father, through many lifetimes in the domain of God the Mother, mater, matter, back to God the Father again. (1)
From God to God: That was the great circle of life.
But I noticed that, as well as following the arc of the circle, the soul was also moving in a spiral. The whole looked like wire rope, as in the graphic.
I intuitively knew that what this represented was the individual soul returning to the same karmic lessons, time after time, until the lesson was learned.
That’s exactly what happened to me today.
I’m sure my guides inspired me to address a deficiency: I wasn’t loving myself. They tried giving me the message, “Love yourself.” But it just didn’t come alive for me, even after my heart opening, at which time I knew what love was and had love to give to myself. Still my vasanas militated against me getting the message.
I was then given the message to let Big Steve take care of Little Steve. That worked to a large extent but still there was no big click.
But then this morning, when the inspired thought came, “Be a friend to yourself,” for some reason, that did click. I have no vasanas around being a friend, no projections or introjections, no unworkable belief systems.
This is an example, I submit, of returning to the same situation again and again until the lesson is learned.
It also demonstrates how our return journey to God, which forms an overall circle, can also be seen as a spiral. (2)
(1) For an account of the experience, see “Ch. 13 Epilogue,” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/spiritual-essays/16244-/the-purpose-of-life-is-enlightenment/ch-13-epilogue/
(2) There is both trajectory (circle) and spin (spiral).