I’m continuing with what I’m learning from loving myself.
I’m drawing love up from my heart and circulating it within an imaginary, egg-shaped container I think of myself as being in. I’m “filling my tank” with love, so to speak.
Only these are vapors rather than liquid (for a quicker fill-up). In my experience, love seems more like a a vapor than a liquid. (1) In either form, it’s still irresistible.
This is real, palpable love. I call it “transformative” because it transforms the circumstances whereas ordinary love is modified by them. (2)
There’s no comparison between this love and ordinary love, as we’ll all see as the gradual heart opening we’re all in continues.
It was just after meditation and I was musing about my situation with live talks and speeches.
Some people say they can’t write. I ask them if they can speak. They say yes. And I suggest to them, write as you speak. That’s all there is to it. (3)
For me it’s exactly the opposite. I can write but I say I can’t speak. And in the process of looking at that, I saw a lack of confidence in myself.
Because it was just after meditation, I began to draw love up from my heart again and found that it had a healing effect on the lack of self-confidence.
A lack of confidence is like having a tremor or electric impulse being constantly sent through all the wires. I’m alight with a very slight and subtle nervousness.
When love works its instantaneous healing effect (it is the great alchemist, the philosopher’s stone), that tremor is gone and my mind becomes still.
Paradoxically when my mind becomes still, I feel more stable, rocklike, solid. I talked about this seemingly-paradoxical situation with Archangel Michael. He mentioned that he thought of peace as like granite on An Hour with an Angel.
Archangel Michael: So, when you think of things that you should do, are supposed to do, might do, and it doesn’t ignite that fire of excitement, and that granite of peace, then you are being given an important piece of information, which is ‘look elsewhere.’ Is that clear?” (4) (My emphasis.)
On a later program, I remarked on this seemingly-paradoxical comment. I had had an experience of peace being like granite myself and had been loathe to talk about it that way. Peace should be light and airy.
Steve Beckow: (Laughter). I had an experience of deep peace some years ago. I think it was about 2015. And I was surprised to find that peace was so substantial. It felt to me as if I were standing on a granite rock and I remember saying that to myself. And then I remember a couple of years later you actually used that word, [saying] that peace was like granite. …
Archangel Michael: There are so many divine qualities that do feel amorphous, light, airy, like a spring day. And yet peace (you have this expression), you can take it to the bank. It feels like ballast. It feels like granite because it is solid. And dare I say immutable. That is why I continue to keep emphasizing that that peace [is] within, that rock-solid granite [lies] within. (5)
Again, reflecting back on a previous discussion of total commitment, (6) if the commitment to peace is less than total, we again have tremors in the force, so to speak.
I don’t think it’s hard to be totally committed to a still mind and inner peace. We just have competing interests and so don’t do it.
I am totally committed to a still mind and inner peace. I am totally committed to being that granite.
In the workshop that my life is, things are getting more than interesting.
(1) Vapor or liquid, it’s still irresistible.
(2) Ordinary love yields to irritation, worry, fear, etc., and is modified by it. Transformative love sweeps all our cares aside. It dissolves them instantaneously as it flows up from the heart and is circulated around the egg-shaped container I imagine I’m in.
(3) Wahhlll, and a few other skills, like knowledge of grammar, punctuation, and diction, style, voice, typing speed, etc.
(4) “Transcript ~ Archangel Michael: You Have Chosen to Be the New Paradigm of Love, May 31, 2018,”
(5) “Transcript: Archangel Michael – Peace is Breaking Out Upon Your Planet, May 3, 2018,”
(6) “The Power of Total Commitment,” What Total Commitment Looks Like,”