When Christmas Hurts – Part 2/2 – Steve Beckow

Artist ~ Sarah Summers


When Christmas Hurts – Part 2/2

(Concluded from Part 1, yesterday.)

The largest lesson I learned from this was that it validated for me the statement that our vasanas or core issues are being raised to the surface right now and that they can be and are being eliminated. That lesson I’ve now experienced. I have seen them rise, be experienced, and then be eliminated.

The second lesson I draw from this is that the Universal Laws really do seem to work. I’m a skeptic in this matter. I feel the need for proof to feel comfortable before I accept the things I’m seeing as a new reality.

And this is one instance of a strong proof having been presented.

This was not at all a pleasant vasana – feeling alone and isolated. If anything could make me feel suicidal it’d be having to deal with this cavernous heartache and finding no way out. Linda Dillon talked about core issues being things you’d rather die than experience. That’s pretty close to my experience.

A third lesson is to make sure everyone who feels miserable at Christmastime hears the good news: There is a way out; just (A) know that the vasana is coming up to be eliminated, (B) experience it as much as you feel you want to, and (C) then invoke Sanat Kumara and the Universal Law of Elimination to have it taken away. It works.

If not at this moment, I recommend you persevere. (2)

I now feel the same feeling of an aching heart come up in me. It used to be overwhelming but has very little force or impact now. It’s become a feeling of wistfulness – like I’m missing something that the Divine Plan wants me to be missing in my life right now – in this case, copious contact.

Let me search out any residue from – any remaining roots of – this vasana by shifting my perspective from that of victim to chooser.

If I can “choose” my lifestyle which, at this moment has me feel isolated and lonely, my feeling state should shift. That’s my hypothesis.

I choose my lifestyle exactly the way it is. I’ve never been so happy.

I have as much contact in my life as the conditions of my service allow and I’m reluctant to increase that small circle. If the result is periodic loneliness and isolation, I choose to endure it.

If I feel isolated and lonely at Christmastime, I have numerous options. If I don’t take advantage of them, I’m choosing to do that and to endure the consequences – a vasana-related aching heart.

I choose this lifestyle even at the price of the occasional seasonal pain.

That’s it then.

I’m restored to choice. I’ve successfully emerged from the hurt, the aching heart that Christmas often arouses in me.

An hour later…

I suddenly became aware of where this vasana originates. The picture flashed past my mind and I grabbed it, so to speak.

As a baby, I had excema on my arms. To prevent me from scratching and crying at night, my parents tied my hands to opposite sides of the crib and wheeled me into the kitchen where they left me no matter how long or loudly I cried.

I felt isolated and lonely. It broke my heart and my bond of trust. All my life I’ve dreaded being in that experience again.

Christmas raises those fears because I often find myself without somewhere to go on Christmas. By choice. But feeling isolated and lonely threatens to take me back to the experience in the crib. And I resist going there, to the point of wanting to check out.

Now I know where the vasana comes from, which contributes to its release. The truth will set you free.

An hour again later….

I erupted into laughter for five minutes in the middle of a phone call. I could not stop.  I felt it as a tremendous release. Something very deep has been released. Fortunately it fit in to what we were discussing. Afterwards I felt a great deal lighter.

The overall process set in motion never stops. Today it’s working my way through the Christmas blues, but that’s just the vasana of the day. Tomorrow another could go off. I’m told that the energies are high, driving our vasanas to the surface. This article has demonstrated how I deal with what results.


(1) This is only the second time I’ve made the invocation of universal law work. The first was invoking the Law of Give and Receive to open my arms to receive abundance. I forgot to say “physical abundance” and got instead an experience of the spaceof abundance. I was awestruck.

Around that same time, I had a related experience, though not by invoking the Universal Law.

Archangel Michael whispered in my ear, “Maestro.” What followed took a split second but I went through these steps.  I translated it. It meant “master.”

When I combined the experience of hearing him whisper it in my ear with knowing what it meant in my native language, the effect was an explosive realization. I found myself occupying the space of mastery, in the experience of it, for a short while. Again I was awestruck at the majesty of the experience.

All these experiences are transitory. I’m again back in everyday consciousness.  No apparent long-term effects except a gradual expansion, like everyone else.

Only Sahaja, only Ascension can be said to be mokshamukti, liberation from the constraints of Third/Fourth Dimensionality, such as birth and death.

Only Sahaja will eliminate all our vasanas and release us from the conditions the 3/4D body falls victim to (ageing, disease, hunger, thirst, heat and cold, sleeplessness, etc.).



Artist ~ Sarah Summers

When Christmas Hurts – Part 1/2 – Steve Beckow

Quilting Treasures – Woodland Dream by Sarah Summers @ Etsy


When Christmas Hurts – Part 1/2


Christmas can be a really difficult time of the year for me. I can fall into a deep depression, born of feeling isolated and lonely – even if I’m in a wonderful relationship.

I become what some growth-movement leaders would have called a “reaction machine.” I have what est would’ve termed a “stack attack.” My “records” are playing over and over again, my endless “Top Ten.”

Linda Dillon described my condition in discussing core issues on a recent PAO Webinar:

“When you know you have a core issues is when you have that gut reaction…. Somebody says something to you and you can’t even react without going into tears, or high anxiety, anger, being very reactive.

“People have great difficulty to name the core issues. It’s the feeling of the unknowable, the unthinkable. You really feel like you’re in the abyss. …

“We know they’re not the truth. But the feelings, the depth of that fear and terror, is still inside us.” (1)

I resonate with that description. In my case I was so depressed this morning that I didn’t want to get out of bed. I hate to feel that deep, yawning ache in my heart.

A little history. Christmas wasn’t really our family holiday, apart from having a tree and giving presents. It was fun but I was raised in a “non-denominational” household, which I thank my parents for.  It didn’t include or exclude anything unless I wanted it to.

It allowed me to grow up with no attachment to any religion. I was able to explore and a cross-cultural spirituality resulted.

But it also left me with no ties to other people’s denominational holidays.

And so when holidays arrive when people get together, I often feel … not left out exactly, because I’m leaving myself out … but isolated and lonely.

It hasn’t been as bad as it was. But today I awoke in the crippling grip of it.

Kathleen and Sitara assisted me to “crack the nut,” so to speak. After experiencing it for as long as I wanted to or felt I could endure, I followed Kathleen’s advice (2) by invoking Sanat Kumara and the Law of Elimination to take the whole vasana away.

Within half an hour, my experience shifted. I felt relieved of the whole kit and caboodle. Blessed event. Thank you to Sanat and whomever else was involved.

Not like it won’t come again…. But, I expect, when it does, it will be less impactful.

Every event is a learning experience. What did I learn from this event?

(Concluded in Part 2, tomorrow.)


(1) Linda Dillon on PAO Galactic Activation Webinar 10: Questions and Answers December 16, 2018, private Youtube video.

(1) Kathleen Mary Willis, “Eliminating Lack with Gratitude,” 



Quilting Treasures – Woodland Dream by Sarah Summers @ Etsy


Fra Angelico – part of Heaven on Earth paintings




Altair Shyam will do a live meditation “The Light Body and the Holy Spirit” at 13:00 GMT, Sunday 23 December, or 1:00 PM London (5:00 AM in Los Angeles and 8:00 AM in New York, 22:00 PM in Tokyo and midnight in Sydney) on Facebook Live Stream.

Altair’s Facebook Profile


To begin, Altair will share the process of surrender to the light of the Holy Spirit or letting go of the physical body and entering into Spirit, which is the wisdom of realizing there is no beginning and no end.

What does it mean to receive the Holy Spirit?
Acts 2:2-4

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

Luke 3:22

And the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

When we touch the Divine, the eternal space of love, how does it appear to us? Does it appear to us as flames of fire descending upon us or other energy forms like a dove? How does it appear to you?

Together we will enter the wisdom of the energies of the inner and outer Holy Fire to explore this together.

On our path we breathe compassion to access this subtle wind from heaven and all that is One with it, awaken Awareness, allow the Light of God to enter us and allow it to bless us all, again and again.

That is why Thomas Merton, the great Christian mystic said, “At the center of our being is a place of pure Light, a place untouched by sin or illusion.” That is why the messages of Christ and Mary Magdalene, Buddha and Guan Yin, the Archangels and the Bodhisattvas, all speak of a body of Light and a language of Light.

You are seeing and hearing your wisdom, the wisdom of the One Shared Heart, awaken and appear in the energy forms of light or fire or subtle states of consciousness like peace or love or forms like the dove.

The Dalai Lama in his discussions with Father Lawrence and Sister Eileen, spoke about the Christ Consciousness in Jesus/Yeshua being present today through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is She who hovers over the waters of pre-creation Void, and She who manifested at the baptism of Jesus, empowering him for his ministry. We are all here to minister (to attend to the spiritual needs of this planet and its people) to bring this Love of God or Source (the Holy Spirit) to liberate all in the consciousness of love and compassion.

The Holy Spirit is the nondual spirit of divine oneness present formlessly in all forms of existence.

You can understand why the power of surrender to the light of the Holy Spirit through formless, timeless awareness is so crucial to sharing the awakened Christ Consciousness or Buddha Light. You can see and feel the Holy Spirit in interconnectedness with all beings.

In their discussions Father Lawrence, Father Bede Griffiths and the Dalai Lama spoke about the physical body, the subtle body and the spiritual body associated with Jesus.

Again, you can see the importance of exploring the physical body through grounding and an understanding of the winds, channels and nadis, the subtle body through the subtle states of consciousness and the spiritual body through love and compassion and wisdom.

Before Jesus’ death his body is the physical body, during the Resurrection before ascending to the Father/Mother God it is the subtle body, after Ascension to the Father/Mother God it is the spiritual body.

The Buddha describes degrees of subtleties in one’s embodiment and many texts describe the stages of spiritual unfoldment in these bodies moving towards full enlightenment.

Where do we find these subtle states in the teaching of Jesus?

The truth is they were always there, as were the dual teachings of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene (in the Gospel of St. Mary), they were just carefully removed in the Councils of Nicaea from 325 to 787, with the secret or esoteric teachings carefully guarded and passed through secret societies even up to the present day.

Some remain in plain sight.

“Be still and know God” Psalm 46:10

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body, if your vision is clear, your whole body will be full of light.” Matthew 6:21-22

St. John describes Jesus breathing the Holy Spirit into his disciples after the Resurrection. “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so also I am sending you.” When he had said this he breathed on them and said “Receive the Holy Spirit.” John 20:22

You will note the divine wind (wind from Heaven in Acts 2:2) and the divine breath (John 20:22) are both intrinsic aspects of the Holy Spirit.

Yogananda describes the Holy Spirit as the Holy Presence of God, His Word, omnipresent in the universe and in every form, the vehicle of God’s perfect universal reflection, the Christ Consciousness, The Comforter, Cosmic Mother Nature, Prakriti.

I had a dream several nights ago in which I was given three numbers by an extraterrestrial civilization as the code for the energy the human race needed for enlightenment. 32-24-19. 19 is the number of Prakriti, the Cosmic Spirit.

Holy Spirit is a translation of the same Greek and Hebrew words. Ruach in Hebrew and pneuma in Greek are used to signify a range of concepts: spirit, breath, and wind — in general, the life principle of humanity and the cosmos. Similarly, in Latin, in which inspiration refers to the inflow of breath as well as of divine or creative spirit; and in Sanskrit, in which prana denotes the breath as well as the subtle astral life energy that sustains the body, and Pranava—an alternate term for Aum (Om) — is the name for the universal Cosmic Vibratory Energy that underlies and upholds every particle of creation.

So, you can understand why our exploration of the subtle states of consciousness, the subtle winds within the physical body and the light body, and silent awareness of the breath is so important to us in awakening and receiving the Holy Spirit.

Some time ago when I did the Kalachakra Tantra with the Dalai Lama over a period of a year of intense meditation, I experienced the clear light of being in a particular part of the ritual with him where we are drawn in through the Mouth of the Father as a Light Seed and birthed through the Womb of the Mother. The Light left me with no meditation and no meditator for a space of around 3 days.

Two weeks later I was meditating on the subtle winds of the Christ Consciousness in the central astral spine or sushumna and praying deeply to Jesus and Mary and the Holy Spirit came upon me and descended into my being as tongues of fire. It was a unforgettable, deeply profound and life-changing experience.

It is that experience of the Holy Spirit that I want to explore with you in this meditation just prior to Christmas, celebrating the birth of Jesus and the birth of Christ Consciousness in you.

Altair will share some of his stories, as well as the importance of faith and confidence in your practice and your own path with heart, and tips to help you in those days when events seem to make practice and your path more of a struggle than others.

Altair will also explore some of the subtle stages of consciousness in the meditation.

This meditation will explore portals of awakening through creating the awareness of Awareness consciousness within, through the power of the angelic, bodhisattva and master experience in each one of us, simply by being, and bringing deep presence and wisdom to our daily experience, moment by moment.

Just as we have an outer life now that we strongly connect to, and that we draw our outer purpose from, so we have an inner purpose, to awaken divine consciousness, and this is awakening within as we speak right now.

Experiences drawn from Altair’s new book
‘Diary of a Yogi – A Book of Awakening’

which has just been published,

and the new spiritual television channel, created by founder, Ruth Anderson
‘Enlightened World Network’

which has just launched

as well as the subtle levels of consciousness dialogues, with Kevin Schoeninger, author of
‘Clear Quiet Mind’


and together we will explore how to awaken the light of the Holy Spirit within us, and how to awaken the subtle divine winds and body of light and the subtle levels of consciousness which lie within us all.

Like Yeshua and Mary Magdalene, Buddha and Avalokiteshvara Guan Yin Krishna and Babaji, and the Archangels and Bodhisattvas we are all Lights for this World.

We will then reveal through the unity of the Shared Heart the miracles we can unfold through the state of being that is the awakened divine consciousness of our subtle divine wind and Light Body, ever-present in the light.

Be the Christ, Krishna, Buddha, the Divine Mother Within.
We carry this flame of enlightenment within us.
Let it shine.
Let the Light in.

Gate gate pāragate pārasaṃgate bodhi swāhā

These words of Avalokiteshavara Guan Yin from the Blessed Mother’s Heart of Wisdom Sutra are guidance into the heart of the subtle divine wind to direct realisation of the Divine I AM Presence.

Love and Blessings
Altair and Mother

💙 🌿 🌺 🌿 💜

Fra Angelico, The Dormition and Assumption of the Virgin (detail), 1430-1434, tempera on panel, Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum