Layer Upon Layer of Constructed Self – Steve Beckow

true friendship picture quote


Layer Upon Layer of Constructed Self

A friend called me the other day on not acting very compassionately. And she was right.

There is a side of me that’s superficial, uncaring, unconcerned. I’m incredibly shallow about the world and I actually don’t know what to do about it.

Seeing how shallow I am brings up fresh, new levels of constructed self and a whole new raft of vasanas.

Of course, only my patterned behavior will be noticeable to other people. They won’t feel my feelings or think my thoughts. But they may intuit them.

The pattern of not caring has to stop.

And the interests that support this kind of coping mechanism or survival strategy will have to be raised to aware

The other day, when I considered the extent of the ground to be covered to emerge from the constructed self and just be the natural Self that I already know I am, I nearly felt like giving up.

But if I did, many others might as well, I thought. We need just the opposite so on we go.

To mastery of the self, the ego. To restoration of full confidence and competence, restored deficits and disabilities, ready to serve.

Krishnamurti said over and over that knowledge of the ways of the self, the ego, the constructed self, whatever you want to call it is what leads to liberation. I’m certainly getting to see mine.

Jesus added that the truth will set you free. Revealing the truth of the upset is the basis of my own method of  purification of the vasanas. (1)

At some point, completing the vasanas and releasing them should get easier. Perhaps they can be eradicated for society….


(1) See “How to Handle Unwanted Feelings: The Upset Clearing Process” at


Gratitude & appreciation to all artists & photographers. Any queries, please contact me, Shekinah 

Recoil from Perceived Criticism – Steve Beckow

heart rainbow colours - art by Keith Allen Kay at Quantum Fractal Energy Mandala - signed artist

Artist: Keith Allen Kay at Quantum Fractal Energy Mandala


Recoil from Perceived Criticism

I notice that, when my personality, my constructed self is in the driver’s seat, any action that goes wrong stands as an indictment of my whole personality – so conditioned have I become to criticism.

Let me exaggerate a bit to make my point. This is the emotional truth for me, not the actual truth – how it seems or feels.

Any credible allegation that something has been screwed up, a ball has been dropped, etc., causes me to go into a tailspin, internally.

We say that a person in my position has been “triggered.”

And I react by going into attack mode. I’m fully mobilized without knowing what hit me.

It’s both the vasana and the conditioned pattern of behavior that go off.

The vasana is like a crew member ringing the alarm bell on a ship. All hands on deck! But it’s internal to the person.

The behavior pattern is external. The crew is now projecting the vasana externally, firing on other people, causing harm.

I know of no other valid approach to patterns than experiencing the vasana through to completion while not acting on the pattern born of the vasana.

Experiencing the vasana through to completion is a wholesome action; refraining from acting on it is also a wholesome action so we’ve satisfied the Buddha’s precept. (1)

Meanwhile I have my susceptibility to criticism to deal with. I know its origins. I don’t have to trace it back.

Here’s the thing. Someone being critical of another breaks the bond of connection, even if slightly. When my Dad criticized me, he took his love from me. For whatever reason. It really doesn’t matter.

He had an uncivil tongue. He’d dig the knife in so deeply (although Michael says I was a sensitive child) that I still cringe when criticized by another.

This family was mired in intergenerational transfer. That’s the process of passing a vasana along from parent to child, repeatedly.  The elder males seem to revel in lording it over their wives and children.

I cited the Divine Mother recently on dictators. Forgive me if I cite it again here because it describes some of my relatives (not all by any means).

“It is painful for a being that seeks power for themselves or power over another, whether it is a parent over a child, a husband over a wife, a man over an army. It matters not.

“The yearning [for], the exercise of control never gives joy. The pain simply grows. And so the actions become more grotesque, larger, until the breakdown is and has [been] and will be occurring.” (2)

A long and slippery slope.

Meanwhile, there’s no one else who can heal my wounds than I. And it’s no one else’s responsibility to do it either.

I’ve forgiven my Dad for passing this way of being along from his father. I probably need to forgive the family line as well, going back to the origin of the pattern.

Seeing these things does help me let go of them. I invoke Sanat Kumara and the Law of Elimination to take away whatever residue of resentment is left.

I feel a sense of peace. I have no idea how lasting it’ll be. But it feels better than the recoil from perceived criticism.


(1) Do only wholesome actions; refrain from unwholesome actions; and purify the mind. (Dhammapada.)

“To avoid all evil, to cultivate good, and to purify one’s mind—this is the teaching of the Buddhas” (Dhammapada, 183) at

“Refrain from unwholesome actions, do good, purify the mind. This is the teaching of all the Buddhas” (Siddhartha Buddha, Dhammapada, at

(2) “Transcript ~ The Divine Mother: Take Up Your Divine Authority, AHWAA, February 23, 2017,”  February 28, 2017, at


Artist: Keith Allen Kay at Quantum Fractal Energy Mandala

Gratitude & Appreciation to all artists & photographers ~ Credit given where this is known. Any queries, please contact me, Shekinah