Here it is a beautiful sunny Sunday. I’m sitting here saying to myself, you should go outside.
I don’t want to go outside. I’m lying here waiting. But for what?
After looking and looking, what I see inside is that I’m wanting to feel a certain way. That’s what I’m looking for. Not just being in a certain place, no matter how beautiful and sunny.
In fact I’d rather be relaxed right now, just being with myself, rather than doing anything. Being with myself is what I’m doing.
As I look at the matter, I realize that how I feel is of the utmost importance to me. If it weren’t, it should be.
When I harm people, I commit myself to an inner life of stress and tension, guilt and self-recrimination. I hurt myself.
It’s finally become too much for me. I’m a prime example of someone changing in the face of the rising energies, letting go of the old, unproductive ways because they hurt too much.
Now that I’m not harming people – and I’ve had lapses – there’s no guilt or self-recrimination.
And what I notice, when I really look, is that I care a great deal about how I feel. I don’t want to be feeling stress and tension or guilt and recrimination any more. I don’t like feeling those ways.
I want to feel joy. I want to feel bliss. I want to feel safe and secure. And all these are available inside, not outside, of me.
In my meditation these days, I’m treating my inner realm as if it were a room I lived in. I’m polishing the teak walls as an act of purification. If I feel bad in some respect, I polish the walls until the feeling is experienced through to completion. Imagination is creative thought on the Fifth Dimension.
I see clear as a bell that making a vow to harm no one created space for me. And in the space thus created, feeling states that I can’t normally access I now can. Bliss is coming up. Happiness. I even feel joy. The water is truly warm.
Man, was this the world’s best kept secret? Am I the last to know? Ahimsa (non-violence) creates space, in which the divine qualities can arise?
I’ll be darned. Shout it from the rooftops! I’m a believer.