
The Messenger ~ Artist Elizabeth Banker
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Who Am I Without This Identity?
Mike Quinsey is having computer problems and will not have a message to post this week.
Tonight, Iโm going through one space after another, dealing with the issue of finances.
Greta Thunberg is in town and I could not rouse myself from my mood to go hear her.
Grief at the thought that this phase of things may be ending is coming up. Once I recognize a layer of emotion, feel it, and let it go, up comes another.
When I ask for the original incident, I see break-ups with various girlfriends.ย I see the death of my Mother. I allow myself to experience the grief.
Under that is tremendous fatigue.ย Ten years of appeals is for me a tour of duty.
Iโve been as clear as I can with everyone. This is the time to register your vote.ย If we cannot achieve a sustainable level of ongoing financial commitment by Oct. 1, Iโll regard that as your verdict and will notย re-open the matter again.
Iโll be activating Plan B, which is to ask Michael to find another way. I have a reading scheduled with him in the very near future.
If nothing can be arranged there, itโs back to the job market. Some people will hear that as a complaint. Not at all. It just means that there wonโt be very much writing.
By the way, in answer to your kind email, no, the site will not charge for access to any materials here โ neither an admission fee for the site itself nor a price for the books, articles, and databases. The material here must remain freely accessible.
Sadness comes up. Self-doubt. Recrimination. Iโm a cauldron of negativity and toxicity, all of it arising to be recycled by the Law of Elimination. (Processing the vasana or core issue this way is the alternative to projecting it onto others.)
Iโm not fooled or frightened by these conflicting emotions. It feels like Iโve been processing them โ simple and layered โ since forever.
Itโs just not what youโd want to be doing of a Friday evening.
I feel an identity eroding. Good. Let it erode.
Anything that erodes is not eternal. Iโm interested in the eternal. Therefore, who am I without this identity?
https://goldenageofgaia.com/2019/09/28/who-am-i-without-this-identity/
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Gratitude to all artists. Any queries, please contact me, Shekinah